The Book

I'll Have it my Way:

Taking Control of End-of-Life Decisions

Imagine that you are in the hospital, you are seriously ill and you are not getting better.

  • Do you know what’s wrong?

  • Is your condition serious? Life-threatening?

  • What are your prospects for recovery?

  • How much have your doctors told you or your family? 

  • If there are other specialists caring for you, do they talk to you or to each other?

  • What if your illness prevents you from communicating your wishes?



I'll Have It My Way  makes it clear that no one is required to passively delegate death to a system that insists upon surgery, stents, chemotherapy, blood transfusions, radiation, infusions and all of the tubes, bags and  lines which  accompany these interventions.  


This book will guide you on a journey of self-discovery as you answer questions that will help you to select a proxy and to provide your friends and family with a few simple instructions and wishes.  Every person who wants to direct their own health care all the way to the end will benefit from this book.

Experts who helped with the book:

Dr. Robert Arnold

Dr. Ira Byock

Elizabeth Chaitin, DHCE, MA, MSW

Dr. Ralph Corsetti

​Constance Dahlin, ANP-BC, ACHPN, FPCN, FAAN

Dr. Richard Della Penna

Linda Fischer, PhD

Dr. James B. Florey

Dr. Joseph J. Gallo

Dr. Pat Gary

Dr. Joan Harrold

Dr. Jean Kutner

Dr. Barron Lerner

​Pam Malloy, RN, MN, FPCN

Dr. Daniel Matlock

Dr. Jack McNulty

Dr. John Morley

Dr. Laura Morrison

Lydia Navarro, PhD

Robin Rome, MSN, FNP-C, ACHPN

Dr. Gretchen Ulfers

Dr. Charles von Gunten

On the last page of the book we suggest that  readers make copies of what they write in the workbook and share those copies with their chosen proxy, spouse, significant other, doctors, children, siblings, friends, neighbors and any person in their circle who could argue with their proxy over their wishes. 


Here are key pages in pdf format to make sharing key instructions easy.

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